


Late Bloomers

by rosemari_00



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Beta/Omega, M/M, tsukkiyama - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5211041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosemari_00/pseuds/rosemari_00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hope is a dangerous emotion, because it’s often accompanied by hopeless. Tadashi knows his prayers are just that.<br/>So when the day finally comes it surprises him genuinely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tsukkiyama ABO AU - Taking from the AU where Alphas and Omegas go through distinct heats when not medicated, but Beta heats are barely noticeable, if at all. This can create a lot of confusion around puberty, and sometimes late bloomers mistake themselves for Beta before their first heat.

Hope is easily the most dangerous emotion.

It doesn’t take much to find hope. Usually, hope finds us. We tell ourselves: he will never like me; shout it in our minds habitually, over and over, and yet there is always still that hateful little paring of hope in our chest. A shred that breathes: but I want him to; that stings.

Tadashi often has trouble with hope.

His heart sings with yearning for everything he tells it not to.

A man.

An Alpha.

A life of submission.

In such a hierarchical society, the oldest boy in a family should not pray to be Omega.

Yet, Tsukki will look at him, gaze filled with a sunset of indisputable authority, and Tadashi will want it, unequivocally, in his heart.

He’s always hoped to be Tsukki’s Omega. And like many things he hopes for, this could never be.

Omegas are almost always early in hitting puberty. Many of the ones in his grade presented as early as their first year in middle school, some even before. A first year in high school who hasn’t had a noticeable heat is not an Omega.

Hope is a dangerous emotion, because it’s often accompanied by hopeless. Tadashi knows his prayers are just that.

So when the day finally comes it surprises him genuinely.

Their first practice match since Inter High; he loves scrimmages like this. He’s grown used to the little home the sidelines provides him during games, but practice matches mean he gets to play, even if only for a short time. He remembers every second he’s ever spent on the court with his team, the experiences ingrained in a treasured spot in his mind.

This match would prove to be memorable as well.

At first it is a low warmth in the small of his back. A dull pain pulls at the muscles, but it’s the kind of thing that can easily be ignored. Even when it grows to push whispers of uneasiness from Tadashi’s breath, it isn’t the discomfort that signals his change.

It’s the smell.

The scent of the Alphas in the room is unforgiving; his own is worse.

After a while, many pairs of eyes begin to stray and linger. Tadashi’s never been anything much to look at, and no stranger has ever paid him near as much attention as this. If he were to think about it, the looks might put him on edge.

Instead, he unconsciously revels in them.

The glances have his instincts stirring without his mind’s consent, and they feel warm. The more people look, the more his body reacts. Something in the gym is beginning to smell wonderful, and Tadashi enjoys it.

A rush of sharpness in his stomach causes him to whimper faintly in dismay, and about half the other team look this time.

Thankfully, the coach looks too.

And grasps the situation.

“Yamaguchi, come here!” Ukai’s booming voice unsettles the rhythm of competition on the court. At the sound of his name, Tadashi jumps, but answers, hurrying to his coach. He wears a nervous expression, but it’s nothing compared to the look of pure bewilderment on Ukai’s.

“Coach Ukai, is something wrong..?”

The words are slow, harder to get out than usual. The pain in Tadashi’s stomach is growing.

“You need to go to the nurse, right now.” He’s clearly trying to hush his words, but some sort of panic seems to keep him from being able to do so very well. “Shit… Sugawara, you come here-” The boy in question is on his way over before he’s even been called. “You need to take him to the nurse, it’s…”

And there’s a stale moment between them. They look at each other, Ukai trying desperately to convey without words the problem that Tadashi himself is struggling to comprehend. He finds it becoming difficult to comprehend anything anymore. His stomach hurts. It hurts badly… _It hurts so much, why does it hurt… What’s that smell, it smells so good it hurts..._

“I understand.” says Suga finally.

Tadashi doesn’t. But he also doesn’t complain when he’s pulled from the gym.

“It hurts…”

There are more than many pairs of eyes watching him when he leaves, and one that matters.

“I know. It’ll be okay…”

 

 

The nurse tells him all sorts of things he knows already, but Tadashi listens to her speech without unhappiness. The more she speaks, the more the realization of his situation sinks in. If it weren’t so uncomfortable to breathe, he might’ve cried from the happiness it gives him. Each word is a memory to him.

The ride home is silent everywhere but inside Tadashi. His mother doesn’t look upset, but the love and understanding in her soft expression is lost to her son. There are words running through his head.

A man.

An Alpha.

A life of submission.

He falls deeply into heat that night. The pain hurts more than anything Tadashi has ever experienced, but he feels his body in the way he has always wanted to. He falls gladly, and the deeper he sinks, the more Tsukki’s sunset eyes possess him with their newfound hope.

If fate can grant him one wish, Tadashi is certain his other was closer than he ever could’ve thought imaginable.

The next time he sees Tsukki, he decides, he will finally confess.

 

* * *

[Thursday 5:16 PM] Sugawara Koushi: If you need anything, you can always text me. Don’t worry about volleyball practice or school, just get the rest you need. I’ll tell Tsukishima to pick up your handouts for you.

 

[Thursday 10:28 PM] Tsukki ♥: are you okay

[Thursday 11:14 PM] Tsukki ♥: do i have to get your handouts for you…

 

[Friday 06:56 AM] Tsukki ♥: just text me when you’re coming back to school

 

 

* * *

[Sunday 08:35 PM] Yamaguchi ☆彡: sorry I haven’t texted you, Tsukki!!! I’ll be back in school again tomorrow. then I can explain everything. okay?

 

Monday comes sooner than anticipated.

The sun gleams stubbornly through Kei’s window, as it always does this time of year. Even when he closes the curtains, the blinding star still manages to slip its way through the cracks and irritate his morning.

Of course, he’s particularly on edge this morning.

All weekend he’s been trapped between looking forward to Yamaguchi coming back to school and dreading it. Part of him, though he’ll never admit it, is lonely without his partner by his side. The walk to school Friday was hot and quiet. Part of him hates that.

Most of him is terrified of what today will be like.

All the things that could (will) change.

He shoves his notebooks roughly into the mouth of his schoolbag. Ten minutes ago he’d been ready, but maybe if he waits long enough, he’ll miss Yamaguchi on the walk to school- though he might be more afraid of the boy coming here to pick him up if he takes too long.

Fine. Time to go.

Kei zips up his bag, throws it around his shoulder and walks over to his desk. There, he yanks the top drawer open, reaching in and grabbing a clear bottle filled with clouded yellow liquid. An embittered expression scrawls itself on his features as he sprays the air in front of him, stepping through a fog of faintly scented vapor.

That should do it.

A buzz in Kei’s back pocket reminds him of the time, and he hastily discards the bottle in his hand before hurrying out the door.

 

* * *

[Monday 07:09 AM] Me: where are you, Tsukki???

For a longer moment than is warranted, Tadashi’s finger hovers over the send button. His heart skips a beat when it’s pressed, sending a chilly wave of anxiety through him, and he tucks the phone away hastily before he can regret it.

Really, he’s acting a little ridiculous at this point.

He tells himself this, but even still, he can’t help it. He is an Omega now (his heart stammers recalling this again), and this is going to be his first time meeting with Tsukki, an Alpha.

Trembling fingers squeeze the pale envelope in their clutches. Tadashi is going to make a lot of memories today. He’s going to confess to Tsukki, going to tell him how he’s always felt, and going to see- to _smell_ him as an Omega for the first time.

Sure, he’s smelled Tsukki’s scent before-- at his age it’s normal to be able to pick up scents strongly even before you’ve presented-- but it’s different afterwards. It’s special. At least, that’s what everyone’s always said.

And today he’ll smell Tsukki for the first time.

His heart throbs in his chest, and suddenly he realizes the pounding isn’t just coming from inside him- he can recognize the sound of hastened footsteps from down the road. Tadashi turns to meet his best friend’s eyes, and doing so takes all his courage.

Tsukki looks as handsome as ever, and breath and will slip swiftly from Tadashi’s lips. The letter burns hot in his hands, and for a moment he tries to open his mouth to call out to his friend, but it’s fruitless. The closer Tsukki draws, the louder his heart thrums in his chest; he tries to think again of what he wants to say, but the only thought that runs through his mind is how soon he would be inhaling Tsukki’s scent. With every step it becomes harder and harder to remember to breathe.

When they come together, he’s not breathing at all.

Tsukki’s holding a green folder, and he hands it off without a word when they meet. School stuff, most likely, but Tadashi must look like a deer caught in headlights, because his classmate is raising a contemptuous brow at him.

“... What?” Tsukki’s voice is low and deep, and it warms every icy, anxious part of Tadashi. “... Well… Are you gonna be like this from now on, or are you going to go back to normal eventually?”

The tone of his voice makes Tadashi smile, and for a second he wonders why he was so nervous in the first place. “... Sorry, Tsukki!” he half laughs, releasing the breath he’s been holding with it. And then-

_He inhales._

Their eyes met, the morning sun catching in Tsukki’s wheat colored gaze.

He smells…

To be honest he doesn’t smell any different than the last time they’d been together.

“Um…” Tsukki shifts uncomfortably, averting his eyes from the barely stifled disappointment on the other’s face. “Yamaguchi… I understand you’ve had a rough weekend and all, but uh… Shouldn’t we get going…”

_Breathe. It’s just a minor set back._ “Oh! Yeah, I just…” He tries to recover. It might not be the magic moment of his dreams, but there’s still a chance to salvage this moment. They’re here, together, and smell or no smell, Tadashi feels the same as ever about Tsukki. He doesn’t need a new scent for it to be magic- just Tsukki. “... I just wanted to say something, first… if that’s okay.”

They look at each other for a moment, Tsukki looking perplexed, maybe worried, but not quite annoyed. “... I’m waiting.”

“I guess you… know what happened this weekend, right…?” Tadashi asks sheepishly.

“You’re Omega.”

“Right. And… you’re an… Alpha…”

Behind his glasses, Tsukishima closes his eyes. “Listen,” he sighs, “If you’re worried about this changing our relationship, don’t, because it won’t.”

Tadashi shakes his head. “I’m not worried. But… I want it to…” He can’t bring himself to look Tsukki in the eye anymore, but he can see the way his body stiffens at those words. “Ever since you presented as an Alpha, I’ve always wanted to be your Omega, Tsukki, always.” He’s bowing now, arms stretched out to offer his little envelope, face nearly crimson. “I… I know I’m not the best Omega out there, but I’ll always love you Tsukki, so please…”

Craning his neck, he musters the will to turn towards whom he’s speaking to.

The face he meets drowns the rest of his request.

“I…” Tsukki whispers, shaking his head with the slightest of movement. He looks as if someone had punched him instead of confessed to him. Long, shaky legs take a step back. “I can’t...”

Tadashi’s breath hitches for the second time that day.

This time was much colder.

“Tsukki, I-” he starts.

“I can’t, Yamaguchi, I--”

He stops. Whatever words were in his mouth fade away, and for a moment, they just look at each other.

And then he turns away, shoves his hands in his pocket and Tadashi can feel him shutting down like he’s seen him do so many times in the past.

“Tsukki, if you just-”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Tsukki, really, I-!!”

_“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”_

Tadashi clamps his mouth shut, biting on his lip to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks. Tsukki is walking now, back facing him, the slow rhythm of his footsteps clashing against the painful, fleeting pace of Tadashi’s heart.

“... I don’t need an Omega.” Tsukki finally finishes.

Tadashi can’t hold them back anymore.

He trails slowly behind, and at least this way Tsukishima can pretend he doesn’t hear the crying.

“... Sorry, Tsukki…” Tadashi murmurs, as he tucks the envelope away and follows Tsukki to school.

 

* * *

Yamaguchi is beautiful.

Yamaguchi loves Kei.

Yamaguchi is the only person who has never hurt him.

Yamaguchi is an Omega, and he deserves the best Alpha.

In his mind, Tsukki flees; he leaves Yamaguchi where they stood, he never says those awful words that put tears in his eyes, and he runs. He runs to his room, and closes the door, slumping down against the cold, hard wood.

Somewhere on the desk in front of him, though, a bottle catches his eye. A nasty bottle, filled with all the lies he’s told for the past three years, and an artificial scent he loathes.

Yamaguchi deserves an Alpha.

And Kei is not an Alpha.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was never meant to turn out this way.

There’s nothing wrong with being a Beta.

In fact, many would argue that being Beta is much more pleasant than being Alpha or Omega. Betas tend to be well-liked, they’re much more in control of their emotions than their less fortunate counterparts, and they don’t suffer from a periodically incapacitating sex drive. On top of this, they are able to function well as both Alpha and Omega, able to scent or be scented, to show both dominance and submission.

Kei should be happy to be Beta.

In a way, he is- he doesn’t have to deal with the mess of heats or hormones, and he’s glad for this. If he hadn’t lied about presenting over summer break his second year of middle school, he might be able to enjoy it more.

But something had possessed him back then.

Back then he’d been so sure he was Alpha; that he would be Alpha. It was a matter of time. Eventually he’d present, he knew so, but he hates waiting.

Because he doesn’t like the way Nishida looks at him after he presents as Alpha. And he hates the way Okihara and his friends stop caring when he insults them, like they’re better than him. And it isn’t like anyone’s got anything against him for not having his first heat yet, but they’ve got no respect for him either.

Then a few of them start talking to Yamaguchi, and he hates that the most, because he’s got no right to be jealous or possessive.

And they know it.

It kills him that they know it.

Until one day he’s shopping with his mom and he sees the shit, a gross bottle of artificial Alpha scent. It’s probably meant for greasy men who are past their prime and have started losing some of that fresh, young smell, but it sparks Kei’s interest. He doesn’t even know if he can get away with it, or if something like that would work, but he’s already assertive enough, and a loner to boot, so maybe if he suddenly starts smelling like an Alpha people won’t think to question it.

And then the thought of Takemoto from class 3 putting his fatty hands all over Yamaguchi’s arm comes to mind, and he doesn’t think about it anymore. He grabs it. He rips the barcode off and shoves the damned bottle in his pocket so deep he hopes it might fall into some black abyss in his pants and be lost forever. But it doesn’t. He walks out of the store with it and gets home with it, and when he gets to his room he hides it and doesn’t see it again until the end of summer break.

When he wears it, people notice. They don’t say anything, but they notice. He doesn’t have to tell anyone the lie because they can smell it on him, and they don’t find it hard to fall for.

The only person he lies to is Yamaguchi.

“I’m Alpha,” he states it, and for a moment he worries Yamaguchi might be jealous, might feel inadequate for being one of the remaining kids who hasn’t presented, but Yamaguchi just smiles, and if Kei lets himself he could believe that the kid is just downright happy for him.

“That’s great, Tsukki! I always knew you were!”

And Kei isn’t sure if this kills him more.

* * *

[Monday 11:23 AM] Sugawara Koushi: Will we see you in practice today?

[Monday 11:24 AM] Me: yes, I’ll be there

[Monday 11:26 AM] Sugawara Koushi: Great! Are you feeling okay?

[Monday 11:28 AM] Me: I’m feeling fine, thank you for asking, senpai

[Monday 11:32 AM] Sugawara Koushi: The first day is always the hardest. Stay after practice, we can talk.

 

Suga senpai is smarter than Tadashi can lie. The thought of talking after practice feels like another reason to regret coming to school today, but maybe it would help.

Though he can’t honestly think of anything that would help right now.

As if to further his hardship, people feel the need to be particularly talkative with him today. He understands why- people want to see how he’s feeling, or tell him how wonderful it is that he’s an Omega now, but the more they bring it up, the more miserable he becomes; in all his dreams, he never really considered being an Omega without being Tsukki’s Omega.

On top of this, they all smell.

Good, bad, neutral. After presenting, sensitivity to scent varies from person to person, and Tadashi is beginning to believe he is overly sensitive to it. Most of his classmates smell normal. Some smell very good. So good he has to keep the drool from slipping out of the side of his mouth, stops himself more than once from forgoing conversation for just inhaling. He prays they don’t notice or that they forgive him if they do.

The first day is always the hardest, he reminds himself, and he hopes they remember too.

Alphas, as always, have the strongest aroma. Not all are good, but the ones that are drive him mad. Their scent fills his nostrils instead of oxygen, sets him on fire and eats up all his air.

Yet Tsukki… Many times he looks at Tsukki, breathes him in.

And every time is underwhelming.

Granted, he smells good- but when he compares it to the boy who sits behind him, to the rush of warm goodness that fills Yamaguchi’s stomach every time he turns around…

It’s not as appealing.

Tadashi feels knots in his throats as he realizes this.

That’s another reason he doesn’t want to talk to people. The more time they spend around him, the more the idea sticks itself in his mind, a splinter refusing to be plucked out.

He and Tsukki just might not be that compatible.

At least, his popularity is short-lived. People soon forget about him, and he can turn his struggling attention to what he lost in the few days of his absence.

His best friend is the only person who doesn’t talk to him about it.

“There’s going to be a test next week.”

He chats with Tadashi during lunch, casually, and it feels as if he’s running over all the feelings that spilled out this morning. Trampling them with heavy tires so they can decompose on the side of a road somewhere. Different words run through Tadashi’s head than what he’s saying. _I don’t need an Omega._ “Since you’ve been gone you can borrow my notes.”

Tsukki’s mouth is as beautiful as it was in all his weekend dreams as it hammers him with reality.

“Thanks, Tsukki.”

The day takes too long.

Still, practice comes eventually.

If nothing else, it’s calming; monotonous and hard and something Tadashi can almost lose himself in. The stink of sweat is overwhelming, but he’s getting more used to it by now, and the burning in his lungs is a good distraction. His teammates don’t make much of a fuss about him, and he wonders if Daichi or Suga might have said something to them, but mostly he’s just grateful.

Tsukki is there too, though, his back broad and tall as it faces Tadashi. It serves as a beautiful reminder.

The boy himself doesn’t seem to be fazed at all. He hardly ever breaks a sweat during practice, and today is no exception. He’s almost peacefully silent. If they can keep ignoring each other like this til the day ends, maybe Tadashi can make it home without falling to pieces.

Not like this team would ever let such quietness go unharmed, though.

“Hey, hey, Tsukishima,” Tadashi hears Tanaka snicker during cleanup, giving a shoddy attempt at whispering. He tries to focus on sweeping the floor like he’s supposed to. “Yamaguchi’s an Omega now, right?”

Focusing becomes a little hard. At least, he attempts to pretend like he doesn’t hear them, cleaning at an even pace with his back to the pair.

“Yeah, yeah,” Somewhere behind him, Noya has joined them. “Are you gonna make a move on that..?”

More than embarrassment, Tadashi feels a trill of excitement run through him at the thought of Tsukki ‘making a move’. He knows it’s something that would never happen, but deep inside he doesn’t want the boisterous duo to stop talking about it.

“Will you two shut up.” He’s out of sight, but there’s a hint of fluster to Tsukki’s voice.

“Oh c’mon, don’t be shy,” Tanaka jeers. “I’m sure he’d go out with you, even if you are a bit… well, y’know.”

Noya laughs, unquietly. “Don’t worry. You can talk to your senpai about it.” He claps Tsukki on the back. The sound resonates against the wide gym walls, and they’re being so loud it might be too conspicuous for Tadashi to keep pretending he’s absorbed in his work.

He risks a glance, because just one can’t hurt, but a pair of eyes is waiting for him when he turns.

Tsukki’s face is flushed, and bothered, and his brows wrinkle together the same way they do when someone compliments his block too much. He’s staring at Tadashi. There’s only a split second of connection before he breaks the moment and looks away, but it’s enough.

His red-faced teammate huffs off to the storage room, net in hand, leaving his taunting upperclassmen behind. “That’s never going to happen…” he mutters, but Noya and Tanaka don’t seem to buy it from the way they laugh.

The only thing Tadashi can manage to do is continue to pretend- that he’s cleaning; that he didn’t hear them; that the pink of Tsukki’s cheeks wouldn’t consume his thoughts for the next week.

Tadashi wonders.

He doesn’t want to wonder, because wondering is not a good thing. Because wonder can turn into what if, and what if can turn into that tiny inkling of hope.

And hope is a dangerous emotion.

* * *

“You can head home without me today, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi breaks their longstanding silence as they leave the locker room, never meeting Kei’s eyes. Not that Kei is brave enough to let him. “Sugawara wants to talk to me, so I won’t hold you up.”

On any other day, Kei wouldn’t mind waiting.

But today has been a long day.

“Okay,” he breathes. He doesn’t spare a goodbye as he leaves.

He walks home, his headphones breaking up the silent night around him. He tries to listen to the words, the rhythm of his music, step to the beat, but he can’t.

Yamaguchi plays in his mind.

Yamaguchi talking to their classmates, and the way people’s eyes lit up when they heard he was Omega.

When they smelled him.

He saw a few of their noses wrinkle, saw when a couple of the Alphas in their class wore a grin at the scent.

His footsteps speed up in pace, and he isn’t sure if it’s from his music or the flush of anger constricting his throat.

 

* * *

[Monday 09:20 PM] Me: thanks for the talk today, senpai.

[Monday 09:24 PM] Sugawara Koushi: Of course! No problem. Anytime you need to talk about something, you can always come to me.

[Monday 09:24 PM] Sugawara Koushi: And you’re sure there’s nothing on your mind still, right?

[Monday 09:49 PM] Sugawara Koushi: Yamaguchi ?

 

Tadashi doesn’t hear his phone when it buzzes. He can’t see the light outside of the fabric that envelops his face.

That covers his mouth.

That hurts his eyes.

Later is always time for some unsatisfactory lie, anyway. ‘So sorry! I fell asleep!’

But sleep comes late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, thanks to @sakamchis for being a great beta. Please let me know what you guys think! Whether it's feedback, or what you think should happen, or just nice comments in general, I live on it all ; ; thank you so much!


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks have passed, and gradually Tadashi has become quite used to the smells and instincts of post-puberty.

He’s learned that scent is worst in the morning. People have just woken up, and the sweat and heat of the night still clings to their skin, long past morning showers. It fades as the day goes on so long as it’s not too hot, but heat is another factor that makes Tadashi writhe in his seat. On days where the temperature spikes, humidity clogs the air, and carries with it dozens of flowery perfumes for his nerves to over-feel.

Summer may well be the worst month to be new to this.

Days pass, though, and he learns to relax even when scent stirs in his stomach. After a while it's much like smelling a well-made meal when you’re not hungry; it's good, but not yet appetizing.

Tadashi fears what it will be like when he’s hungry.

He’s figured out more than just the smells, though. Etiquette is never an easy thing to learn, and if Tadashi was lacking before, he’s utterly failing now (no matter how much Suga tries to explain to him during the several talks that follow their first…). It's little things. He wrinkles his nose too much. When he’s feeling pleasant, he has habit of letting his neck show a little too frequently to be considered socially acceptable. The other day he put his hand on a Beta from class 2; a few acquaintances were teasing him, and instinctively Tadashi’s hand reached out.

Even the split second seemed to take the boil right from the boy's retorts, and send a calm through his bones. He didn’t miss Tadashi's regretful eyes or his apology, and waved it off without much thought, but no matter how understanding people are, Tadashi feels he's always doing something wrong.

His greatest offense being how close he stays with Tsukki.

The two of them remain the same as they ever were. Thankfully (or maybe not), time has helped them slip back into the normal routine. Quiet words and dusky walks home. On the one hand, Tadashi is always grateful to be by Tsukki’s side, to live as his supporting shadow and sky.

On the other, his feelings haven’t changed.

Omegas, he learns, shouldn’t be so close to unbonded Alphas.

It’s not as if it’s rare or uncommon, and it might even be a stereotype that it often spells trouble. Yet people note it, and talk about it, ponder over what’s supposedly a ‘platonic’ relationship.

“Yamaguchi!” It’s already the last break of the day before a classmate with short, dusty hair calls out to him, and Tadashi turns. Tsukki doesn’t. “Can you come help us?” he asks. “It’s about the last test... You got a good grade, didn’t you?”

He’s sitting with a group of similar looking classmates, all lanky and notably plain. The tallest of them has striking, dark eyes to match his black rimmed glasses, but each one of them wears dismay in their expression. Tadashi tries not to let his pity show as he fishes his test out of his school folder.

“Of course,” he chirps, leaving Tsukki’s side for theirs without a word between them.

The boy who asked looks sheepishly from Tadashi to the blond behind him, and then back again. “Are… you sure it’s all right for you to help us?”

Tadashi purses his lips in confusion. “What do you mean?” he asks.

“Well... your mate doesn’t always seem like the friendliest person. I wouldn’t want to upset him, inviting you to sit with an Alpha group and everything.”

The accusation startles no one but the Omega there. He wonders if this means people have just started assuming they’re together at this point.

“Oh, no, you’ve got it wrong…” He also wonders if a day will come where it won’t hurt to correct them. “Tsukki and I… we aren’t like that. We’re still just friends.”

It’s the other boys’ turns to looked surprised now, and the dark eyed one speaks this time. “Really? You guys do just about everything together… That’s a surprise.” The raised eyebrow Tadashi is met with worries him for what feels like the hundredth time that day that he may never get the hang of this. “That means you’re still unbonded though, right?”

The Alpha continues with a quirk in his lips, and he leans his head to the side. It’s a barely noticeable shift, and his eyes don’t leave Tadashi with any sign of discomfort- but it reveals almost too much of his smooth neck, and what Tadashi knows very well is there.

For the first time since he’s presented, Tadashi considers that maybe it isn’t just him who struggles with etiquette.

“Uh, so anyway, about question seven…”

 

* * *

 The ball slams against Kei’s ruddy fist, painting on another layer of pink before hurling to the ground faster than his opponent can catch up.

Lately it’s been hard to be careful.

“Nice, Tsukishima!” Daichi’s voice applauds. Kei contradicts it in his head.

Don’t sweat too much.

“Keep it up, just like that!” Noya’s hand smacks him on the back.

Don’t breathe too much. Don’t put too much in.

Before the next serve, Kei can hear Suga and Yamaguchi cheer for him. His eyes catch a glimpse of the pose they strike, spot the moment of laughter between Ennoshita and Yamaguchi.

They’ve been close lately.

Yachi chirps at Yamaguchi cheerfully, chiming something in Kei can’t hear.

They’ve been close too.

The next ball is clobbered by Kei’s strike even harder than the last. His long arms stretch him taller as he surges upwards.

It stays in the air this time, though.

 

* * *

 [Friday 06:57 PM] Sugawara Koushi:  Good work today! Tell Tsukishima I said so too.

“Suga says good work today, Tsukki!”

“S’that so.”

Walking home is about the only time Tadashi gets to spend with Tsukki free from stress. There’s no need to think about how they’re supposed to be acting when they’re alone. The sun goes down early after volleyball practice, the lack of light soothing after a long day.

Lately the walks have been very quiet, only broken by the occasional comment, a soft voice not demanding too much from either of them.

Some nights are different, though.

“You’ve certainly been talkative lately.” Tsukki drones the words in his usual monotone, but there’s a hint of a sharp edge to them. It makes Tadashi frown.

“What do you mean…?” he asks, quietly.

Tsukki shifts the way his hands sit in his pockets. Even striding behind him, Tadashi can see the way his jaw tightens. The night is dark, but his features seem even sharper than usual as they traverse through chains of lamplit spotlights.

“What else would I mean?” he retorts. “You seem to be really close with that new manager, lately. And upperclassmen.”

Tadashi feels his strength shiver at the tone he takes.

“And you sat with that group of Alphas today.” He pauses for a second, as if waiting for a reply. “Well? You know they’re only sitting with you because they want to court you.”

“I don’t… think so…” he mumbles in reply, somehow mustering enough willpower to shake his head.

“That’s because you’re naïve.” Tsukki snaps back.

And Tadashi’s brows wrinkle together. “Who… Who are you to scold me about this?”

There’s a beat. The silence he’s met with helps him to find a little more confidence. “Why should you care if someone wants to court me...” It hardly has the bite of Tsukki’s words, but even his hushed voice is heavy to swallow. “You… You don’t want to be my Alpha.”

Tadashi receives no answer.

And the rest of the walk home is as quiet as it is dark.

 

* * *

 It happens after the last bell rings.

Sometimes Yamaguchi has cleanup duty without Kei, and about half of those times he waits for him. But Kei’s chest is still filled with repressed chagrin and he’s not particularly interested in sticking around to see it overflow.

He leaves. He doesn’t say goodbye when he goes, and in a few, hurried footsteps, the classroom is far behind him.

It’s because of him that Yamaguchi is by himself when the boy with sharp eyes finds him.

It’s because he left that Yamaguchi is alone with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah cliffhanger... Thanks to all of you who've stuck with it until now, I promise things are really about to heat up ٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑)ᵒᵏᵎᵎᵎᵎ Please comment and share and let me know all your thoughts! Thank you, and I hope you'll be able to survive til next week~


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you lie, know who you're lying for.

Kei almost doesn’t come back for his headphones.

He almost misses the words that drift out of their classroom, muffled by distance down the hallway.

“Completely… don’t you know…? … unbonded… and disgusting…”

His footsteps quicken against his more rational brain.

It can’t be him. It must be someone else.

The words grow clearer.

“Don’t you feel sorry for whoring yourself out like that? You know, this is what it means to be Omega.”

The small whimper of a ‘No’ that’s given in response pushes Kei into a run at once. Before he can think, he’s bursting into the classroom, without a pause at the nauseating sight he’s met with.

Yamaguchi, tears streaming down his face.

Yamaguchi, pushed into a corner, cowering underneath malicious words.

The speaker turns to look at Kei as he enters, could almost be smiling when he’s pushed against the wall and pinned there by a pair of shaking, impulsive hands.

“Oh! Tsukishima is here to play your pretend Alpha, Tadashi.” he sneers, watching Yamaguchi rush out of the corner to put distance between them.

“Don’t call him that.” The sound of the name in his mouth wrings Kei’s stomach. “Don’t talk to him, you piece of--”

“You have no right to be angry.”

There’s an unmistakable tone of lowness to the Alpha’s voice as he stares Kei down. He’s challenging him, and it takes all of Kei’s might not to shrink under the glower. He wants to. He isn't one for fighting, and all of his instincts tell him to back off; to let the boy have what he wants.

If it were anything but Yamaguchi, he could have.

“Like hell I don’t,” Kei snaps, pushing off of the boy with a hasty step back. He moves in front of Yamaguchi, whose lips are sealed shut by this show of dominance, and tries to regain some control in his own voice. “He’s my friend. I can’t imagine you have any friends, but that doesn’t give you the right to torment--”

“It doesn’t matter if he’s your _friend_ , Tsukishima.” Kei’s insults are dismissed without a thought, as if he hadn’t said them at all. “He's not your mate, so I have a right to court him.”

“And he has a right to say no.”

There's a pause as their eyes meet, and something in the cold, black color uneases Kei even more than before. He feels Yamaguchi’s fingers grab onto his shirt; feels the desperation in the tips of them as they brush his skin through the fabric.

“Not in my book.” The boy takes a step closer, cocks his head to the side to try to catch Yamaguchi’s eyes, who is desperately trying to hide them from him. “Stop hanging out with this sorry excuse for an Alpha. He doesn’t want to be your mate, and I do. So come to me.”

A soft whimper leaves Yamaguchi’s mouth, and for a second Kei remembers how they met. He remembers the people who put tears in Yamaguchi’s eyes, all of them the reason those eyes used to stare at his nervous hands whenever he was scared.

He used to get scared a lot back then.

Kei remembers when he stopped.

 

* * *

 “Tsukki!”

As if keeping time with Kei’s impatience, Yamaguchi bounded down the street to the playground at top speed. His footsteps echoed on the pavement with every heavy smack of his short legs, and even from his place across the windy road Kei could see the boy was out of breath. He’d probably been hurrying that morning, as he did most mornings, desperate to catch ‘Tsukki’ in their meeting place by the tall, thick trees. Waiting for him at that intersection had turned into a habit before Kei realized it, the smell of leaves and woodchips heavy in his memories. His bright eyed classmate always seemed to appear right as he was about to give up on him.

“Wa… Wait for me, Tsukki..!” Yamaguchi cried, more breath than voice as he quickly closed the distance between them.

Kei shook his head, murmuring. “You don’t have to hurry so much to meet me, you know…” He watched his friend lean against the chain link fence, feeding air into his constricted lungs.

“It’s okay…” he wheezed, his words contrasting his image as he waved the worry off. Kei finally noticed the cans of drinks in his hands as they streaked by his face- not big, but enough to make Yamaguchi’s frail fingers seem even smaller than before. He offered one out. “... I wanted to get these for us.” he continued, after one last (large) gulp of air. “... I stopped by the vending machines.”

“The vending machines?” The information took Kei by surprise. “You never go there, you always make me go with you.” And Kei would have been lying if he said there wasn’t a hint of soreness to his tone.

Maybe not because he was always forced to tag along, but rather that this time he wasn’t.

Yamaguchi averted his eyes with a soft shade of embarrassment on his cheeks, Kei grabbing the drink from his dainty hands. “I.. I don’t know.” he muttered, as they began to walk. “I felt like I could do it myself today…”

Kei popped open the tab on his soda as his only response, the smell of sweet gas mixing with the Spring air. The smooth, paved sidewalk of the playground treadmilled beneath their feet on the way to school as it did every morning. The space between them had changed since they first began doing this. Over time, Yamaguchi moved from being an inch behind Kei’s back to a comfortable distance at his side (taking double the steps to keep up with his much larger stride). Kei wasn’t sure when exactly this change had occurred.

“Well, to be honest…” Yamaguchi began again. Behind his glasses, Kei snuck a glance, expecting Yamaguchi to be rubbing his fingers together in that nervous manner he always showed.

He wasn’t. Yamaguchi looked right back at him as he spoke. “I feel a lot safer now, by your side, Tsukki. It’s pretty embarrassing, but I guess I feel like you’ll protect me, even if you’re not with me… Or like, being friends with you, I feel stronger…”

It was Kei’s turn to avert his eyes now, although his shade of embarrassment couldn’t really be considered ‘soft’.

Kei wasn’t sure when Yamaguchi stopped rubbing his hands together, either.

“It’s not like you need protecting, dummy…” he muttered.

However there was only pride in his heart.

 

 

* * *

 And then something in him snaps.

“You’re wrong.”

Kei doesn’t wait for the boy to ponder what he’s said, and he doesn’t give himself a chance to think reasonably. He turns to face Yamaguchi at his side, and an unsteady hand pulls him closer. He makes no effort to hide the way it cuffs the back of the neck, the way he thumbs the scent glands hidden there.

He feels Yamaguchi relaxing under his touch, quietly; unquestioningly.

He also feels a dangerous glare burning a hole into his confidence.

“He confessed to me.” Kei manages to look the tall boy in the eye, a strained smirk filling his face as Yamaguchi’s grip tightens on his clothes. “You know, I’m not one to say presumptuous things like this, but I guess I’ll dumb it down to your level: He’s mine.”

The boy’s already coal eyes darken as he narrows them. “Excuse me?” he barks. Kei’s heart falters, worried what he should do if this turns into a fight. He’s not an Alpha, and he has no doubt he’d lose if it turns to that. His heart stutters shaky, anxious beats as it waits for the lunge.

Yamaguchi, however, barely seems to notice them anymore. He turns to hide his face in Kei’s chest, rubbing his nose up and down the collar of the shirt. It’s clear he’s overwhelmed by the attention to sensitive areas of his body, but his actions aren’t unwelcome.

If anything, it’s confidence building.

And then the other boy hones in on Yamaguchi. There’s a guttural noise of disgust, and for a second it looks as if he’s going to spit. “You lying little-” he starts.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think, worse than an Omega hanging around an unbonded Alpha, is an Alpha interfering with a bonded pair, isn’t it?” Kei thumbs the neck beneath his fingers again, and feels a still as a result. “That would probably bring a lot of shame to the family of such a... refined Alpha.”

The quip no sooner leaves his mouth as the boy’s face shoots to an inch away from Kei’s. He’s tall enough that they’re eye level, and Kei wonders why he never noticed how scary this classmate was.

Maybe this is what they call ‘an Alpha’s rage’.

“Don’t think I’ll forget about this, Tsukki.” he mutters, and then without warning he’s storming off. He doesn't spare a hit from his shoulder as he goes, but Kei will gladly take it as oppose to the other ways this could have gone.

“What was it you said,” he can’t help but call, hearing the riled footsteps pause before they're gone. “Ah, yes... ‘You have no right to be angry’, is that right?”

The door slams shut.

There’s a few seconds of dead silence before the breath of relief leaves Kei’s mouth in a rush.

Beneath his chin, Yamaguchi is murmuring his name. His soft mouth pushes breaths between the buttons on Kei’s shirt, and Kei could melt into it.

Instead he sucks back in another inhale of tension.

The realization sinks in quickly.

“Listen… Y-Yamaguchi…” he chokes, a lousy attempt to sound normal and unperturbed. He lets go of the neck in his hold, as a pair of hands slide up to his chest, kneading lightly.

“Tsukki…” he murmurs again. His eyes are hazy as they linger on Kei’s collar, and it makes Kei swallow. “You saved me, Tsukki… Thank you…”

“I didn’t save you,” He overtakes the working fingers with his own, holding them gently. “You’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, I just--”

“But you did, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi shakes his head vehemently, meeting the other’s eyes with fervor. “I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do, and then… you showed up, and…” He drops his face to look at their hands again, connected. The faint smile on his lips rushes to Kei’s gut and sweeps the breath out from his lungs. “Did you mean it, Tsukki?” he whispers. “Did you mean all those things you said…”

The way Yamaguchi nuzzles into the small of Kei’s neck tells him he’s clearly expecting one answer. A ‘Yes’. An ‘Of course’. Maybe something romantic Kei could never conceive on his own.

The answer Yamaguchi is definitely not anticipating is silence. The constricted throat he’s met with.

Kei thinks over many things.

What he has done. What he should do.

Most of all, he wonders how he’ll ever be able to tear himself away from Yamaguchi right now.

To lie again.

The nuzzling slows, and it’s too late to think. Yamaguchi’s arms fall from his chest and hug him, clinging weakly.

“You meant it right? Say you meant it, Tsukki...”

I did. I can’t.

“Please… please tell me you meant it…”

His voice breaks and Kei breaks with it. He can feel shuttered breath on his skin as Yamaguchi shakes his head into it, squeezes his arms as if it could push out the answer he wanted.

“I’m sorry.” Kei stammers, and he can feel the wave of emotion that runs through the boy in his arms. It strikes them both. “I'm so sorry…”

His own arms start to reach out as the desire to hold Yamaguchi, to be with Yamaguchi the way he wants them to be, overtakes his heart.

He’s been lying, for years. Even to himself, even before he ever put on that god forsaken cologne.

The only real reason he did any of this was for him.

Because he loves Yamaguchi.

But he stops his arms before they can hug back.

“I’m sorry… for this…” he repeats again. More solidly.

“I don’t believe you…” Yamaguchi whispers, and the stern reply feels like it stops time. His tone empties Kei’s chest with the fear of losing him, the arms holding them together slowly loosen their grip. It feels like Kei will topple over like blocks without them. “The way you said it… No, the way you’ve been acting. I know you, Tsukki.”

There’s a sort of calm that washes over Yamaguchi’s face- a stubbornness. Kei can’t face it. “Just… Just let it go, Yamaguchi…” he breathes, trying to turn away. That’s what he always does, after all. He wants to regain his composure; to put on that disdainful mask and act as if none of this ever happened.

Again.

“No!!” And Yamaguchi’s hands grab him by the shoulders, force him to face forwards. “I’m not going to just let it go!”

It’s a rare act of defiance from an Omega, and Kei is sure that it was uncomfortable; that he wouldn’t have been able to do it if there wasn’t someone he cared about at risk. Yamaguchi yells, contorts his face into a pained and hostile grimace, but it’s for him.

It’s because he loves Kei, in a way nobody else has ever loved him, and realizing this pushes Kei against the classroom wall more than Yamaguchi’s strength ever could.

“You’re hiding something from me- lying to me, and I don’t believe you!” His hands tremble as they squeeze Tsukki’s wrinkled shirt collar. “I don’t… I can’t... believe you don’t want to be my Alpha…”

Kei crumples.

He’s crushed beneath the weight of water in Yamaguchi’s relentless eyes.

“You like me, too… I can tell…” he objects, but his voice no longer holds the bite. It shakes and shivers, murmurs with his inner desperation and by the end of his sentence it’s a plea. “... I don’t want anyone else.” he breathes. “I… I want you to protect me, Tsukki...”

He collapses against Kei’s chest, and Kei doesn’t hesitate to catch him; to fall with him. They slide to the ground, and Kei’s lean arms try like mad to hold them together, to gather Yamaguchi as much as he possibly can.

“I want to protect you…!” Kei relents finally. Yamaguchi’s words stick painfully in his throat. “Yamaguchi, I…” He shakes his head. “I’m not like that, I'm not an… I'm not good enough.”

Yamaguchi’s arms snake their way around Kei’s neck, suddenly, and he presses their foreheads together; locks their eyes together.

The warm, brown color of Yamaguchi’s eyes has always been a comfort for Kei, even fueled with so much passion.

Especially fueled with so much passion.

“That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said, Tsukishima.” He chastises, but he’s half crying as he speaks. “Nobody can protect me like you… You're strong, and tall, and cool and... you’ve always been the one there for me. I’ve never wanted to be anyone else’s Omega.”

There’s a pause as Kei swallows, blinks away what was threatening to become tears. He hates flattery, it feels like a underhanded way for somebody to get what they want from Kei, but Yamaguchi is different. He's purely honest. Kei tries to look away again, but his gaze is held by a firm expression.

A small smile creeps up on Kei’s lips as he takes it in.

“... You’re too stubborn to work as anybody else’s Omega…” he mutters, and there’s a hint of laughter to it.

The way the face he's met with lights up seals the rest of their fate.

“So I’m yours…” Yamaguchi breathes. There’s a small, crooked smile that replaces his tension, and Kei falls in love again with the way his freckles rise on the apples of his cheeks. His arms tighten their grip on Kei’s shoulders. “I’ve always been yours, Tsukki, it's just a matter of… whether you're mine…”

Kei can’t stand the sadness in his eyes as he says this. “Who else would I belong to…”

And he feels more than sees Yamaguchi rise up in his seat on the floor. His chest puffs and his smile widens. Their faces are so close together Kei can feel the quickened breaths coming from Yamaguchi’s mouth. It mingles with his own, makes his lips and his stomach feel warm. There’s a heat from being within Yamaguchi’s arm, and every movement feels like it’s attached to the strings of his heart, tugging them and sending tiny shock waves of intensity through his veins.

The swiftest of this emotion rushes through him when Yamaguchi slowly lets his eyes fall shut. Maybe he's just relaxing- exhaling all the stress that had built up since the moment Kei had rejected him in the summer sunlight- but the sight overwhelms. Kei watches the way his brows ease into tranquillity, puts to memory the pink color of his small mouth as tiny wisps of air slip in and out of it. He stares, listening to their quiet breaths and feeling the way they slide closer so easily. Kei breathes all of it in.

Including the smell.

A lovely smell that reminds Kei why he’s not allowed to be happy.

All of the sweetness in Yamaguchi’s warm embrace, the love written on his face that invites Kei in for a kiss- they’re things Kei may not indulge in.

The moment he did, it would steal them away from him forever.

Yamaguchi can never know. As long as he doesn’t, the smile can stay on his lips.

Steadily, Kei shifts away from Yamaguchi’s arms. He stands, pretending not to see the set of disappointment in the other's pout, and tries to clear his mind along with his throat.

“Well, uh… Are you done?” he coughs. “We should get to practice.”

Yamaguchi looks skeptical, but doesn't object.

And just like that, they slip out of the darkening classroom, walking in slow silence. It's a contemplative quiet. There's no long conversation. There's no difference in the distance between them. Maybe there would be, but for now the day had already eaten up their will for words.

It should be surprising, how easily they slide together. But it's as if, from the second Yamaguchi presented- maybe even before- they were already bonded. Somewhere between there and the gym their fingers meet each other. Yamaguchi’s fingers aren't as small as they were when they were younger, they feel just as frail in Kei’s hand.

 

 

* * *

[Monday 10:16 PM] Me: are you going to sleep now?

 

Tadashi curls up around his phone in bed, cradling it as if it were an extension of Tsukki himself. The walk home had been long, and quiet, but warm beyond belief.

[Monday 10:18 PM] Tsukki ♥: I just got in bed.

For some reason, even simple words from Tsukki squeeze his heart, and have him hugging his phone tighter.

[Monday 10:18 PM] Me: so no?

[Monday 10:19 PM] Tsukki ♥: You should sleep, though.

[Monday 10:20 PM] Me: there's no way I can sleep tonight, Tsukki.. I'm too happy

Tsukki doesn't send a reply, but Tadashi doesn't need one. The smile that won't wipe from his face, the racing of his heart and the excitement still possessing his muscles, they're all gifts from Tsukki. He doesn't need a reply, because Tsukki's already made him happy enough for one day.

In fact, it might be possible to live the rest of his life on this happiness.

He can still send one last message though, because he wants to repay this joy. Tadashi wants to make Tsukki as happy he's made him.

He presses send, without an inkling of hesitation this time. Even though he said he'd never fall asleep, he buries his face into his pillow, and it's only a matter of a few, blissful minutes before he's drifting off.

Sleep finds him easily, and fills him with wonderful dreams.

[Monday 10:23 PM] Me: thank you for everything today, Tsukki. you will always be the best alpha for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy COW I'm so sorry this took so long! but it's a really long update so? I hope you guys enjoyed! Again please always comment and let me know what you think! I really do read and appreciate all of your feedback ;; Thank you so much!
> 
> (Also, follow me on tumblr @takanoboo, I posted some updates about why the fic was taking so long there. Also I'm just shamelessly promoting myself haha > > Thanks!)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes. Feelings do not.

The bare skin on Tsukki’s chest is hot to the touch as Tadashi slides his fingertips across it. He can feel the involuntary flex of the lean muscles; the sudden twitch when his short fingernails brush scratches into the unblemished warmth.

He remembers how warm it was last night. They’d spent the evening at Tadashi’s house, doing homework and pretending to listen to his out-dated, staticky radio. Tsukki’s body felt closer than usual. For a while, they were allowed to hold hands, until their palms were clammy and their scent mingled from the sweat glands, and Tsukki pulled away (he has a limit to couple-y things like that).

When Tadashi brought his hand to his face, he pretended it smelled like Tsukki- a nice scent; a special scent.

“Yamaguchi.”

The soft body shifts away and Tadashi doesn’t want to hear it. He hears it all too often, for the past several weeks he’s put up with it and his ears can hardly take it anymore.

Asahi knocks before he enters the changing room. He stoops down as he walks in, and Tadashi sees that his cheeks are colored per usual. There are times when he seems to suddenly remember that Tsukki and Tadashi are together, and these moments are always clear as day on his face.

Tsukki doesn’t look like he notices- or cares. He’s nearly done buttoning his shirt by the time Tadashi’s eyes return to him. It's a disappointing sight, but unfortunately not a surprising one.

They leave the changing room, his Alpha always two steps ahead and growing.

"See you tomorrow, Senpai!"

Asahi gives a stilted wave back, and Tsukki's footsteps stroll on.

"Tsukki, wait for me!"

In reality, not much has changed at all. Of course, that fact doesn't keep Tadashi from being wildly happy anyway.

Tsukki keeps his headphones around his neck as he begins to play quiet music for their walk home. As long as Tadashi is there, he doesn’t put them on; it’s the same as every night. A song Tadashi likes plays and if he lets himself, he can almost believe that Tsukki turns it up for him.

Occasionally their fingers brush together, and it’s an affection that’s permitted.

Tadashi loves that- can live with that.

“My brother is coming to visit soon.”

The soft, unexpected sound of Tsukki’s voice interrupts the quiet lull of music. Tadashi brightens at the news.

“That’s great!” Tadashi says, but there’s a hint of memory at the end. He’s always excited to see Akiteru, but Tsukki…

“I think my mom said he’d be here this weekend.”

“I hope I’ll get to see him while he’s in town..!”

“I’m sure we can plan something…”

* * *

 

 

Upon coming home, Kei realizes he should’ve invited Yamaguchi in.

He would’ve gotten to meet Akiteru a lot sooner than expected.

“Welcome home, Kei!” The voice that greets him always seems to get the smallest bit deeper every time he visits- or maybe it’s just that it’s always higher in Kei’s memory. “It’s been a while.”

Kei nods in response, slipping off his shoes and trying to cut through to his room while avoiding the small talk. “Welcome back to you, too…” he replies, quietly, making his way towards the stairs.

Akiteru is nothing if not persistent, though. He follows him, trotting just a grating step behind his little brother.

“How was volleyball practice?”

“The usual. I’m pretty tired...”

“And Yamaguchi? How’s he doing?”

“Excited to see you, but otherwise normal.”

“Even with the whole… presenting ordeal?”

Kei stops, just as he reaches his door, to turn back with a look that almost spells surprise. “How did you know about that?” he asks.

“You know Mom’s a gossip.” Akiteru laughs, and Kei shakes his head. He considers making an effort of shutting the door behind him, but knows it won’t phase his Alpha brother in the least, so it’s left ajar and Akiteru slips his way through.

Strangely enough, he closes it behind him.

And then looks at Kei with an expression that puts his instincts on edge.

“You guys… you’re dating, aren’t you.”

It’s a statement more than a question, and Kei tries his best to avert his eyes nonchalantly. He drops his bag on his desk and begins unpacking his homework, hoping that it might be enough to defer this conversation.

Akiteru only allows a small pause before continuing. “I’m glad! I’ve always thought you guys would make a great pair… wasn’t really sure whether it would ever actually _happen_ , but I had hope for you.” There’s a gentle lilt in his voice, and Kei can tell he’s trying to lighten the thickening mood. It’s not working; it makes him more nervous.

“I don’t need the sex talk, just so you know…” Kei speaks in a low, barely audible voice as he tries to focus on keeping his anxiety from showing through.

“Oh no!” If possible, Akiteru looks more embarrassed than him. “That’s not… what I meant…”

“Then do you have a point,” Kei sits down at his desk with a sigh, finally turning for brief eye contact. “Or are you just here to keep me from studying?” He doesn’t wait for an answer before turning back to his bag and flipping a thin, blue notebook open, as if to illustrate his point.

“... Does he know?”

Kei feels cold.

“Know what?”

“Kei… you know I know…”

There’s a stale, heavy pause as no one says anything. The notebook doesn’t move and neither do they.

“Mom knows too…” Akiteru continues, and Kei wishes he wouldn’t. “She always worries about you, trying to make you happy, spoiling you and letting you do whatever you want, but this--”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Kei can feel his fingers shaking as he struggles to pick up his pencil. His chest is getting tight as the air enters and leaves his lungs at a pace quicker than it should. He’s quiet. The room feels deathly quiet.

“Kei…” There’s a sharpness to Akiteru’s tone that wasn’t there before, and he closes the gap between them. “The scent suppressants are one thing, but… Listen, now’s your chance to- to end this stuff.”

The pencil is quivering too much for him to write a proper sentence, so he sets it down, trying to maintain the composure he no longer has. “Oh, that?” He turns to face Akiteru- a feat he thinks he can pull off but he questions the decision when he’s met with the concern in such similar looking eyes. “Sorry, I guess I should take your advice. You do know a lot about lying to make yourself seem like someone you’re not, after all.”

If the concern wasn’t enough to make him turn, the flash of pain in Akiteru’s eyes certainly suffices. Kei can’t bear to look at his brother anymore.

There’s another pause. The longest one. Somehow, he manages to pick up a pencil again and write a few pointless notes down in the silence.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watches as Akiteru turns his back to him, his movements indecisive and sluggish as he steps towards the door.

“I don’t want you to make my mistakes…” he murmurs, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

The tip of Kei’s pencil breaks with a snap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen I am SO SINCERELY SORRY that this update has taken SO long!!! Lately I have been really struggling with a lot of serious, personal issues pertaining to my health (I've been in and out of the hospital ;; ) as well as a bunch of other, unrelated issues on top of those. Basically it's been super hard for me to write, or even think about writing, for the past several weeks, as much as I've really tried... However, fear not! I have worked through a lot of this trying time, and I think that things are going to start getting a lot better! Anyway, stay tuned for the next update, it definitely won't be two months in the making, ahh, and if you're still reading, thank you so, so much for being here with me. Like... you're amazing, thank you for sticking through it. I appreciate every kudo and every comment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's best not to think about it.

“... and then I see her walking around with _him,_ at the _mall,_ on a _Saturday_ , and it just hits me, you know?” Tanaka barely seems to be taking breaths between his sentences as he sweeps the gym floor clean with an ounce of his attention. “I mean, this guy cheats on her- is a total jerk about it- never does anything nice for her, yet _he’s_ living _my_ dream of taking a beautiful girl out on a date, and I’m stuck helping my grandma buy spanx for two and a half hours.”

Tadashi can’t help but join Ennoshita in his laughter, even though he’s technically not a part of the conversation. It’s been a long series of training camps, and everyone seems to have grown a lot closer- which apparently for Tanaka, encourages late night gossiping.

“Don’t laugh!” he protests sharply. “I’m serious! Listen,” He visibly straightens, raising a finger to illustrate his knowledge on the subject. “It’s a fact of life I’ve just learned to accept: The best Omegas always wind up with the shittiest Alphas.” he declaims.

Ennoshita shakes his head. “You would say something like that.”

“Really, man! I mean, I’m not even talking about it for myself, it’s just sad watching all of these amazing Omegas end up in these sucky relationships.” His lecture doesn’t seem to be convincing anyone, but he pursues. “You know I’m right. Take Tsukishima and Yamaguchi for example.”

At the sound of his name, Tadashi straightens, turning in time to see the gesture towards him. Then he frowns.

Tanaka furrows his brow, scrambling to pull his foot out of his mouth.“No, not like that, it’s like- I can tell that you really like him and all, but just… _why.”_ He leans on his broom handle, having entirely stopped sweeping by now, and his eyes roll back dramatically. “You’re so nice, and he’s so mean- you can’t deny that part- and he never treats you the way an Alpha should, like he doesn’t even _mark_ you, it’s so unfair--”

Tanaka is interrupted by a volleyball to the face, courtesy of Ennoshita. Tadashi is glad for the distraction. His quicker senior likely caught one look at his face and could tell how the words affected him.

“Tsukki isn’t a bad Alpha…” he murmurs quietly, and pushes the last of the equipment into the closet.

Both Tanaka and Ennoshita pause in their ruckus, and sympathy is easy to read on their features.

It’s almost as embarrassing as it is frustrating.

“You can go on ahead, Yamaguchi.” Ennoshita says softly. “We’ll clean up the rest.”

Tadashi nods, and does so, not sparing a moment for Tanaka’s blathering apology as he hurries out the door.

Not that he’s upset with him. He can’t _blame_ Tanaka, really, for thinking like that. Unfortunately, that’s the way most people think about Tsukki.

That fact is the most frustrating to him, because no matter how good Tsukki is to him, or how patient, or caring, or kind he is, nobody ever sees it.

Sometimes, as much as Tsukki strives to build it up, Tadashi wishes people could see more than his cool, distant demeanor.

Like the way he turns up the music Tadashi likes on their way home; how he never finishes his french fries, so that they can share; how he texts him before he goes to bed almost every night- except when he’s in heat, and then Tsukki respects their distance.

Tsukki is a good Alpha.

On top of that, he isn't imposing at all. Some people act like being Omega takes away your ability to do or decide things without being told, and Tsukki isn't one of those rigid minded people. He’s always encouraging, despite the way he comes off. "You can take care of yourself," he’ll say, or “You’re competent enough without an Alpha anyway”.

He might come off… harsh, to other people, but not to Tadashi. Tadashi knows that at heart, Tsukki is nothing but a good Alpha. He does lots of things that make Tadashi's chest tighten, or his toes curl inside his shoes. He’s always trying to make _Tadashi_ happy.

“Yamaguchi,” a low, familiar voice interrupts Tadashi’s thoughts, and he turns. “What are you doing..?”

It’s a precious secret Tadashi will likely never say aloud, but Tsukki looks most handsome in the moonlight.

“Just… finishing cleaning up,” Tadashi stammers. He doesn’t mean to let on how flustered he is, but hiding how he feels has always been his weak point.

“Well, if you’re done,” If Tsukki notices the disturbance, he doesn’t act like it. “Let’s go…”

Tadashi nods, and bustles up to Tsukki’s side without complaint. “Okay, Tsukki!” he chirps.

* * *

 

It’s true, the images have slipped in and out of his mind on more than one occasion.

Yamaguchi, trembling in his arms.

The starlight shining softly in his eyes.

His fingers heating up Kei’s bare skin, as his breath calls for him in the way only Yamaguchi is allowed to call.

Kei may not indulge in these dreams.

He can’t help but think about it now, though, watching Yamaguchi sleep soundly an arm’s length away.

Training camps are stressful. Wake up first, get ready when no one is around, take a bath when no one is around- not to mention the constant demand to do more, do better, don’t stop, keep practicing.

It takes everything to keep himself going.

Yet sitting here is peaceful.

The breath rises and falls so easily from Yamaguchi’s small, tired mouth. Watching it puts Kei at ease.

He thinks about kissing it again. They’ve never kissed before. They’re so close, he could lean forward and do it right now if he wanted to.

He scoots closer.

The loose strands of hair that have fallen in Yamaguchi’s closed eyes are soft as Kei’s fingers brush them away. His skin is warm, where his cheeks are flushed. Yamaguchi smells sweet. Always sweet.

Kei scoots away.

Closes his eyes.

After all, he’s got to get up early.

* * *

 

Usually, the call of dinner has just about every team wrapping up at the same time. Tsukki isn’t normally a part of the late-practicing group of people. He’s met Tadashi every other night, escorted him to dinner (even held hands on the way there once or twice), but tonight he’s missing.

Tadashi waits, planted by the large double doors as the remainder of his teammates who shared the gym with him stream out one by one. It’s a bit awkward, and he tries to avoid eye contact with Tanaka and Ennoshita as they walk past him.

Tsukki wouldn’t have gone to dinner without him, right..?

“If you’re looking for Tsukki,” a soft voice pulls Tadashi from his worries. “Daichi said he saw him by the third gym.”

Suga smiles reassuringly as he passes, and Tadashi feels an embarrassing bit of relief.

“Oh!” he replies. “Thank you!”

His senior waves him off. “No problem!”

Tadashi quickly turns on his heels towards the gym.

When he gets there, the light is still on, but the scene is quiet. A quick peek tells him no one is there, and the place has already been cleaned up.

“Tsukki…?” he calls, too hushed to expect an actual answer.

From a distance, though, he can hear voices.

Outside… Around the corner…?

He takes a step in that direction, and hears what sounds like Tsukki’s laugh- not the good laugh, like when Kageyama and Hinata have done something equally stupid and hilarious, but his condescending laugh, like when he makes fun of them.

“... Oh come on, don’t be such a stick in the mud!” A loud voice breaks the stillness of the night, and it makes Tadashi jump. The people appear much closer than expected, and he hesitates at the edge of the wall.

“Jeez, shut up, you’re so loud…” a more gravelly voice responds. “But I agree.” it laughs. “ Lighten up, Tsukishima. If not, we have ways of getting you to do what we want…”

His tone makes Tadashi shiver, and suddenly his instincts are torn between telling him to run away and rush to Tsukki’s side.

The latter ends up winning as he springs from behind the corner.

Tsukki is facing away, but he turns round when he sees the surprised faces of the volleyball captains in front of him. Tadashi grabs onto his arm, half cowering behind it, and he sees the speakers clearly now. Fukurodani’s captain has his arms slung around Nekoma’s captain’s back, mostly leaning on him, but the both of them straighten up quickly when Tadashi comes.

Nekoma’s captain- Kuroo Tetsurou- can’t help but smirk.

Fukurodani’s just looks confused.

“Forgive me, forgive me,” Kuroo laughs, putting his hands up in surrender. “We don’t have any actual intentions with him, just joking, trust me.” He’s speaking to Tadashi in a polite tone, but at the same time it’s easy to tell how amused he is. “I take it this is _your_ Beta, then? You’ve found yourself a real loyal Omega, huh, Tsu--”

“Tsukki isn’t a Beta, he’s an Alpha.” Yamaguchi interrupts sharply. He takes it as in insult on Tsukki’s character- yet _another_ person trying to make jabs at Tsukki’s worth as an Alpha.

It’s infuriating.

(However the two Alphas in front of him are too intimidating for him to really get mad.)

“Yeah, Kuroo, don’t you have a nose?!” Bokuto Koutarou is loud as ever, no matter the setting.

“Quit shouting in my ear.” Kuroo shoves him away with half of his attention, and glances at Tsukki. The way he looks makes Tadashi nervous.

It’s nothing compared to the way Tsukki looks back, though.

“Sorry, my bad. I must have been mistaking you for someone else on your team... Anyway, we should really get to dinner, huh?” Bokuto seems excited by that prospect; he chooses to hop off in the direction of food, rather than continue to struggle against Kuroo’s shoving.

“I’ll beat you there!” he shouts, already paces away.

“I’m… gonna go catch up with him before he breaks something.” Kuroo slides past them, and Tadashi watches from a safe distance behind his Alpha. “Sorry, again…”

He’s out of earshot before it feels safe to say anything, but finally Tadashi pipes up, his hands still wrapped around Tsukki’s bicep. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just trying to get under your skin, Tsukki…”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

The cold words are a shock to Tadashi. He steps back as the arm is yanked out of his grasp and Tsukki turns away from him.

Tadashi is not mad, though.

“Please, I… I’m here for you, Tsukki. I don’t care what other people say, you’re a good Alpha--!”

“Shut up…”

His voice is uncharacteristically quiet, and it wrings Tadashi’s stomach.

“Listen to me! You’re an amazing Alpha-”

“I’m not.”

“You always take care of me, and make me happy-”

“I’m _not…_ ”

“And I love that, I love you, Tsukki…! You’re a good--”

“I’m _NOT AN ALPHA!”_


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo is just a really nice guy

_ I take it this is your Beta, then? _

“... What… do you mean..?”

The words still ring in Kei’s ears as he tries to wrap his head around what just happened.

How a stranger could tell his secret.

(How many other people know?)

He opens his mouth to say something else.

“I’m not… an alpha…” he repeats. 

They’re the only words that come out.

He can’t say anything else. He can’t hear anything but the thundering of his heart and the shaky, heavy breaths that his lungs force out. 

“Tsukki… are you joking…?”

He must have turned around, hid his face away, because somewhere faintly behind him a broken voice calls him. It ruins him, or whatever is left of him. 

Kei, the Alpha.

“I’ve been faking my scent for years, now.”

“This isn’t very funny… please...” There’s a weak tug on Kei’s sleeve, and he can’t feel anything but the ache that begs him to turn around. “... Why?” 

The question burns as he swallows it.

Good question.

He starts to move, unsteady and slow. 

Yamaguchi drops his hand, and runs in front of Kei, grabbing him by the collar. 

_ “Why wouldn’t you tell me?!”  _ he cries, desperately. There are tears in his eyes, and Kei thinks that out of all the years he’s known Yamaguchi, he’s never seen him look so upset.

Despite all of this, with a sickness in his stomach Kei realizes he still wants to kiss him.

More than ever, really.

The thought sprouts in his head, that maybe if he takes his lover in his arms, holds him and kisses him, then they can forget everything. They can start over. Things like Alpha or Beta or Omega won’t matter anymore, to Yamaguchi, or to their lips, or to their breath. And for a brief moment, looking down at Yamaguchi’s furrowed brow and quivering mouth, Kei reaches out.

His arms bend to wrap around Yamaguchi’s frail frame.

His head bows lowly and he's never wanted anything so naturally.

Yamaguchi breaks off their contact before Kei can touch him, though.

He pushes away with a jerk, backing up until there’s a few feet between them, and the uneven ground of the grassy side puts a stumble in his step.

“You  _ lied… _ ” he breathes.

Kei can’t see anything except the foggy lenses of his glasses as he steps forward, again. He’s quicker this time. 

“Why would you  _ lie _ like that to me… for so long?! I thought… I was different… to you...”

Somewhere along the way he thinks he brushes Yamaguchi aside, because after a while he doesn’t hear him anymore.

There’s only the dangerous intake of his own breath. The vomit in his throat that threatens to take it away at any moment.

He walks back to the sleeping quarter, somehow, without throwing up.

He doesn’t make it so fortunately through the night.

* * *

 

The day after it happens, Sugawara is nice enough not to ask why Tadashi wants to sit next to him on the busride home.

They text, that night, though.

[Sunday 04:26 PM] Sugawara Koushi: Should I be worried?

[Sunday 04:28 PM] Me: i will try my best not to let anything affect practice or volleyball, and i’m sure Tsukki will do the same!

[Sunday 04:29 PM] Sugawara Koushi: That’s not what I mean…

Tadashi knows what he means, but he doesn’t even have an answer for himself, at this point.

[Sunday 04:33 PM] Sugawara Koushi: If you need someone to talk to, I’m here, Yamaguchi.

Tadashi appreciates the sentiment.

Not that he can talk.

* * *

 

The first week back at school they don’t walk together. Tadashi comes in early, always  filled with an exhaustion stemming from more than just the lack of sleep. Nothing is too different, or too difficult. Tadashi sits in the classroom at lunch and Tsukki doesn’t. 

They don’t talk. Other people do but they’re easy to ignore.

At least most of them are. When the Alpha classmate who used to filled him with so much fear catches glimpses from the corner of his eye, he’s probably hoping to convey his smugness; there’s a curl to the corners of his lips that say, “I told you so. Don’t you regret not listening to me?”.

Tadashi is instead filled with a newfound admiration. 

How brave Tsukki must have been, he thinks, to have challenged an Alpha as a Beta. How much courage and love he must have mustered to be able to do that.

How wonderful that memory of him could be if it were not coated in lie.

Tadashi tries his best to ignore these reflections, as well as his classmates.

Practice is different. Harder. The tension in the air is thick as fog when his shoes hit the court, and it’s clear that most of his teammates are aware of the fissure. Everyone is a little quieter around him- around Tsukki. Tanaka and Noya are the most notable in this, in comparison. Their practice plays aren’t nearly as boisterous, and it makes the whole gym feel like black hole of deafening silence even though they're just shouting a little bit less, or cutting their whoops a few seconds short. Asahi isn’t much better. He can’t look Tadashi in the eye even more than before, or when he does, the sympathetic smile he gives seems ridden with anxiety. Yachi has to leave the gym at one point when she unwittingly stands in between him and Tsukki- and only returns when Kiyoko follows to calm her down. 

At this point, the oblivious passion Kageyama and Hinata have for volleyball is a relief Tadashi never realized could be.

Sugawara does talk with him, though. 

Tadashi can’t tell him what happened, but listening to him is somehow soothing.

They’re sitting outside the gym one dusky night, and most people have gone home already. It’s quiet, and the ground they sit on cools their taxed legs. 

“Lots of people think that Alpha and Omega pairs are seamless,” he says. He tells him about the first fight he had with his Alpha. “There’s supposedly ‘less to butt heads over’, but I think that’s a little ridiculous. A lot of our problems came from thinking like that... Not necessarily in malice- we just didn’t know how to be in a relationship in the beginning. We fought over the stupidest things and the most important things, and usually they were the same…”

Tadashi doesn’t have the heart to tell him that his problems have nothing to do with Alpha and Omega relationships.

He isn’t exactly sure what his problem is in the first place.

He tries to say as much as he can, while not filling Suga in too much. “I just… wish that he had trusted me.” he says, quietly. He supposes that’s the closest to putting his emotions to words. “I feel… betrayed? I know- I know I should talk to him, because I’m sure he has a reason, but I… I’m scared to. Or maybe not. I just… can’t.”

Maybe it’s because every time he thinks about Tsukki, his instincts take over.

He wants to feel safe again, in his arms. He wants the touch of his hand on the back of his neck, wants Tsukki to hold him and mark him with his scent.

But eventually the realization had washed over him with a bit of pain: this is why Tsukki never smelled as good to him as other Alphas.

No, that’s not quite right.

It’s a fake scent. An awful lie. That scent was why he never smelled as good.

Tadashi thinks of how often he used to daydream about being Tsukki’s Omega. How much the idea of being the enviable pair consumed his mind, the idea that he could be the perfect Omega for his perfect Alpha.

Tadashi thinks of the many ways that dream has now been shattered.

* * *

 

It’s not too long before he has another heat.

He sits on his bed in the dark, trying to resist the urgent cry from his lower body for as long as he can. It burns his mind, his muscles, but there’s a different burning in his heart, his eyes. He doesn’t want to give in, because he knows where his primal needs will take him.

The relentless frustration wins out still. It drives his fingers down his stomach, down to the heat that seeps from inside his body, and Tsukki takes possession of his mind. 

Tsukki touches him; his long fingers grip at the bones of Tadashi’s hips. They rub the trembling wetness that drives Tadashi to the brink of consciousness, of breath, of life. 

His mouth whispers in Tadashi’s ears as he climbs on top of him, as he helps soothe that aching, itching heat. 

“I’ve been lying…” he groans. Tadashi can feel Tsukki pushing deeper inside of him. “I’ve been lying to you… I’m not your Alpha.”

His body begs for more.

* * *

 

[Thursday 05:26] Sugawara Koushi: Where were you today at practice?

[Thursday 06:13] Sugawara Koushi: I don’t want you to hurt your future in volleyball because of everything that’s happening… I’m here for you too, Tsukishima. You know that, right?

* * *

 

“How did you know?”

They had held the bus for 40 minutes to wait for him.

Ukai must have called a dozen and a half times before Takeda gently told him to give it a rest. 

“Huh?”

Tadashi folds his hands in front of his shirt, weaving his fingers together, but he doesn’t feel the pit of anxiety this type of confrontation would normally bring on. The moon is nowhere to be seen tonight, making the dim and distant lights from the other buildings their only way to see.

“You knew about Tsukki… did he tell you? Did you find out? How did you know??”

Even in the dark, it’s easy to recognize Kuroo’s expression of genuine surprise. 

After dinner, he’d sought Tadashi out. They’d wound up outside, behind another building, like before. It stings, but Tadashi doesn’t complain. Kuroo seemed uncharacteristically honest as he apologized for what he said. It apparently concerned him to think he might have upset Tsukki- or, worse, that he might be the reason Tsukki isn’t here this time. 

Tadashi wasn’t as concerned with that as he was the opportunity to question him, though.

“Oh, you mean…” he responds, and his face returns to its former expression of guilt. “I… really was right, then?”

Tadashi is silent but it’s enough of an answer for Kuroo.

He sighs, and holds the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Listen... I don’t know. He didn’t tell me he was Beta or Alpha, I guess I just kind of assumed from the way he was acting. Call it… intuition?” The answer is unsatisfying, and that much must show on Tadashi’s face because Kuroo continues with a more defensive tone. “Really! I don’t know how I knew… I mean, he was in a room  _ full  _ of Alphas, and he kind of… didn’t fit. I guess he  _ did  _ have Alpha scent- but sometimes Betas smell more dominant, thought-- I don’t know… I’m sorry if this isn’t the answer you were looking for.” He pauses for a second, and then he leans down and goes on in a more solemn tone- as if there was anyone around to overhear (as if the priorly discussed material was any less sensitive). “Is this… why he’s not here?” he asks.

For a moment, Tadashi opens his mouth to say no. It’s his natural instinct to comfort him, but when he really thinks about the question, he changes his answer. “... Yes.” Hearing this, Kuroo looks distressed, so he continues. “Not necessarily because of you, just… the fact that he  _ is _ ...” 

“There’s nothing wrong with being a Beta!” Kuroo tries, and he seems like he really means it, but they both know it doesn’t change much. “Man, I’m… I’m sorry about all this.” The towering man grows even taller as straightens his back, and looks up at the sky, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Are you two in a fight now, too? God, I’m worse than Bo, sticking my foot in my mouth like this…”

Tadashi shakes his head. “It would have come out eventually.” he says. 

“Yeah, but it wouldn’t have been my fault,” Kuroo laughs.

Tadashi doesn’t.

“... I really am sorry.” The captain’s normally smooth, authoritative voice takes on a low, quiet tone. “I know- I mean... obviously I could never understand how you guys are feeling, but I do know how difficult it is- that expectation. ‘Alphas should date Omegas, and Omegas should date Alphas’, that… pressure. I know it, it sucks.”

The image of Fukurodani’s wild-haired captain slung around Kuroo’s tall frame sticks itself in his mind. It’s a sight that happens frequently. “You’re dating an Alpha, aren’t you..?” he asks, and maybe that’s a bit bold for Tadashi but he’s too tired to care. 

“Yeah… Aren’t I a lucky guy?” Kuroo answers, an air of nostalgia to his voice despite his sarcasm. He wears a tender curve of his lips to match, laughing breathily and shaking his head.

They look at each other. It feels strange, having such an open conversation with a person they barely know.

Kuroo is simply the only person Tadashi can speak to candidly, now.

“I just…” he starts. His gaze falls down to the ground.

“You just...?”

“I just don’t understand why he  _ did  _ it…” Tadashi whispers.

They’re the words he’s been wanting to shout for the past few weeks now, but a whisper will have to do.

There’s a moment of silence, afterwards. Tadashi looks up to him, apology nearly out of his mouth (after all, it’s not as if Kuroo can help him with such a problem) but he’s suddenly stopped by the expression on the other man’s face. 

Kuroo is smiling- wryly, at that.

“Looking at you, I can kind of understand his reasoning.” Tadashi doesn’t have time to let the words sink in before a hand claps him on the shoulder. “You’ll figure it out,” he continues, and then he turns his face back towards the sleeping quarters. “It’s getting late, anyway. I think we should get back before rumors start up. Bo gets insanely jealous.”

Kuroo’s smirk doubles in size. 

* * *

 

Yamaguchi’s hand warms his own. 

His soft fingers curl in between his, and soon hands are not the only things that feel warmer to Kei.

This sort of setting is common for their walks home. Their hands sway together, in sync with the lazy pace of steps against the pavement. It is quiet, and dark, save the thundering heartbeats in their ears that never seem to go away. 

Together like this, house after house passes by, in a field of curtain covered windows and the glimpses of kitchen lights behind them. They have walked far past the point where, before, Kei would split away from Yamaguchi. Walking him home through his crowded, green neighborhood has gradually become an enjoyable habit.

The closer they get to the destination, the tighter their grips become, until standing outside of it Kei realizes just how roughly he’s been holding Yamaguchi’s hand. He lets go hastily but the other hand holds firmly in its grasp.

“Thank you for walking me home, Tsukki…” Yamaguchi murmurs, not moving to cross behind the fence of his house and away from Kei. Instead he steps closer, curling his other hand around Kei’s bicep and pulling Kei’s long arm flush to his torso.

Kei feels his cheeks heat at the close quarters; he’s barely able to meet the starry eyes that gaze up at him. “You’re… welcome…” he forces out. The emotionless disposition he maintains always seems to falter when he’s met with the pure, unadulterated love in his Omega’s eyes.

Their faces are so close Kei can feel faint breath against his lips. He sees the way Yamaguchi’s eyes fall half-lidded, and then slip closed, his flush, pink lips sealing together at the same time.

“Tsu… Tsukishima…?”

The voice contrasts sharply to the images playing in Kei’s mind, and he opens his eyes, the memory fading away.

It replaces itself with drowsiness and regret.

And a bit of surprise.

“Oh. What are you doing here...?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in my original draft yamaguchi said: “You’re dating an Alpha, right?” and Kuroo looked at him wryly, thinking of how cute Bokuto is, and went: “Yeah… aren’t you jealous?” and the n i r ealized. Ku roo no. do n’t… don’t say tha t.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my lovely beta reader @sakamchis on tumblr for making this fic possible! I hope you guys enjoyed!


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